Snakes vs. Anacondas

Today's topic comes from a very traumatic dvd I was privy to on Sunday (our lord's day) eloquently titled "Boys Gone Wild".

My friend brings this dvd over and says "You've got to see this one guy! I think his father was a donkey!"

"I don't believe it!" I exclaimed. My friend is prone to exaggeration and "White" so I'm sure anything not white would seem bigger!

Lo and behold, there he was...ManHorse! I swear the thing was down to his knee! No lie...rent the video if you don't believe me! This scrawny, New York kid with such a vulgar display of power! If this kid rides a motorcycle, the thing needed it's own sidecar! The guy would never be able to jump rope, ride a bicycle (unless it's on a banana seat) or ballroom dance (unless he put a shoe on it). If he went swimming, he would drag the lake! Imagine the stuff that would get caught on it; fishing lures, weeds, maybe even those plastic things that hold a six-pack together! Most guys have "trouser snakes", this guy had a "trouser anaconda"!

The thing I learned about this video is that all the guys that were sooooo willing to "drop trou" were the ones who had little weiners and certainly didn't believe in grooming "down under". But ManHorse was shy and embarrassed about his special gift. This makes me laugh, my friends, because next time I see a guy at a club and he thinks he's god's gift to women, I will smile because I will be 99% certain that he's hung like a lightswitch!